16-year-old grounded after selling 37-year-old stepmother's old prom dress without her permission to afford new earbuds after destroying old pair in washing machine: "My husband thinks I'm being too harsh"

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    AITA for grounding my stepdaughter for selling my formal dress?

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    I 37F have a stepdaughter, Amy, 16F. Amy was looking for formal dresses, and I mentioned that I have my old formal dresses. She picked my old prom dress to wear, and she has kept it in her wardrobe since wearing it at prom. I don't fit in my old dresses
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    anymore, and I kept them and some other clothes to hand down to my kids, however, I have two sons who aren't interested. Since my nieces, 15F and 13F are interested in my clothes, I planned to give them the rest once they were old enough to fit them.
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    Amy left her earbuds in her sweatpants pocket and turned on the washing machine. When she asked for new ones, me and her dad told her to save up to buy new ones (she works part time) as she wanted an expensive brand new pair and not the wired earphones I had offered.
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    Amy went to stay with her mom, and when she got back, she had the new earbuds she wanted, so I asked if her mom had bought them for her, and she said she had resold my dress on a second-hand site
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    and bought herself the earphones. The dress is 100% silk, one of a kind, and the brand doesn't exist anymore. I was really upset to hear she had sold my dress, without even asking.
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    R
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    I confiscated her earbuds and told her I would give them back when she repaid me the cost of what she sold the dress for. My husband thinks I am being too harsh, as I wasn't explicit on whether I was lending or giving her the dress. Amy has gone to live with her mom since and thinks I am being unfair. I am not sure if I have taken it too far and if I should stand my ground.
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    -SnowQueen- NTA. Wow, is Amy a piece of work. When she broke her earbuds, you offered to replace them with a wired pair, when you had no obligation to give her anything at all.
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    To get what she wanted, she sold your beautiful silk prom dress -- and she knew that it wasn't hers to sell. That's why she never breathed a word about the listing.
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    Amy sounds like a selfish, manipulative brat to me, and my punishment would likely have been more onerous than seeking repayment for the dress. You are a better person than both me and Amy.
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    Jealous_Radish_2728 I hope she stays at her mom's permanently for OP'S sake.
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    Exciting-Peanut-1526 Technically she stole it. Depending on how upset OP is, filing a police report is an option. Her husband sounds like a pushover who will just pay OP instead of stepdaughter.
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    ilovetheskyyall omg I missed the part that this was a stepdaughter. I can't even share what I think about this, um, youngster.
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    honeyed_newt This kid is a THIEF and her family doesn't give a sh, apparently
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    sraydenk Did she know it wasn't hers to sell? Even the Op admits she wasn't clear.
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    She gave step daughter the dress to wear. A dress that the OP hasn't worn likely for 20 years, and won't wear again. If the Op gave her the dress, step daughter wore it, and the Op never asked for it back I could understand why step daughter thought it was hers.
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    I have clothes I'm saving for my daughter. When I give them to her, they are hers to do as she wished. Unless the OP was explicitly clear this was a loan only I don't think we can assume step daughter was being manipulative or selfish.
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    Ok-Map-6599 The stepdaughter, at bare minimum, knew it wasn't clear whether or not she could sell the dress. She knew she should have asked before doing that, and I suspect she also knew the
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    answer would most likely be 'no' so she went ahead and sold the dress without asking. It was an underhanded move, and I think the punishment (repay what she got for the dress) is well within a reasonable response.
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    Consistent-Ad3191 How is are you being too harsh? You lent her the dress if she wanted to resell it she should've asked first your husband needs to back off. It's not his property and just because you're married doesn't entitle him say on your property especially sentimental stuff. No, you were not too harsh.
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    Actions have consequences and she was too lazy to save. If she doesn't repay you sell them and I will try to find out where your dress was sold.

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